What a Day

I woke up at 10am, showered, dressed, and prepared for class. I stuck my head out the door to check the weather. A comfortable sixty degrees with a slight breeze. Finally, T-shirt weather! I strapped on my bag and headed out the door at a quarter to eleven. As I was walking toward campus, I noticed some ominous-looking clouds off in the distance. "Hmm, rain's headed this way" I thought to myself. "Just let me make it to Bear (Hall) and I'll be good. Both of my classes are in that building." Not three minutes later I felt a drop on my head. Then a few more followed by several in a row. The wind began to pick up and I soon realized that the rain clouds were moving much faster than I had expected. I was still several hundred yards from Bear when it happened: the rain clouds blew in extremely fast and let loose a storm of violent wind, rain, and hail. The wind picked up even more until I literally had trouble standing. If I had been riding my bike I surely would have had to dismount. Leaves began flying off the trees as if some unseen cosmic child was blowing seeds off a dandelion. Dozens of people were walking up and down the sidewalks to and from campus, and we all had the same reaction: "Oh shit, we're going to die." I was now about fifty yards from Bear when the hail started to pelt my face, which was now serving as a dartboard. A girl behind me screamed and ran past me toward campus. Some other students on the sidewalk across the street began hollering in a playful manner. I swear I heard at least one shrill cry of "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!" While the sheer force of the wind and hail was quite comical to those walking home, for me I was reminded that I would be spending the next three hours sitting in a classroom, soaking wet. When I finally reached Bear I checked my face to see if I was bleeding from the frozen needles, quickly matted down my hair, and walked down the hallway to my classroom. It would be later that day that I learned the airport reported hurricane-strength winds and several building had collapsed across the area.

Soaking wet and in a T-shirt, I ignored my professor's sarcastic comment that "dark clouds mean rain." Thanks, Al Roker. I did make it through my two classes, albeit with the demeanor of a cold, wet, pitiful dog. The odd thing was, I was not upset or pissed off at all. Normally a mild hurricane on my way to class would have ruined my day, but I was wearing a smile the whole time. And I didn't even have to try.

I have undergone a metamorphosis over the past several weeks and it is directly related to this and my other philosophy course. In that brief amount of time, I have come to the realization that the things that are out of my control should not have an effect on how I react to those situations or determine how I react to situations within my control. This morning, I could have easily let the mini-hurricane ruin my day but instead I chose to see it for what it was. I was cold, wet, and completely uncomfortable but that didn't matter to me. I knew that in a few hours I would be back in my warm apartment listening to Interpol and gnawing on one of the Cow Tails my mom bought me.

The storm had nothing to do with anything that I did or didn't do and so I should not get bent out of shape when I'm caught in the middle of it.

Another aspect of my metamorphosis has been the realization that I lead an unusually comfortable and privileged life. I am healthy, live in a relatively free and safe society, I have no money problems, I have two parents who are married (to eachother!) that love and support me, I have friends who are there for me, and I have opportunity and a future. There is so much hatred, poverty, and negativity in the world but I have somehow managed to grow up in a privileged situation. That is not to say I am blind to this negativity but the fact that I have only recently realized the true scope and nature of it leads me to believe that it is because of that realization that I am growing as a person. I used to have a very bad temper but I almost never get angry anymore. I used to get very upset with my routine was disrupted or things didn't go my way, but now I just take things as they come and deal accordingly. While it still bothers me when things seem out of my control, I do not let the emotions rule me, which has proven disastrous in the past. For some reason I have matured to the point where I am now able to step back for a moment and really think about a potentially troublesome situation and how I should handle it. I can't tell you exactly where or when I learned how to do this, but I do feel it is connected with my trip to Belize and my present philosophy classes. One day it just snapped, and my temper and attachment to things going my way all of the time took a back seat to the more important things in life, which includes thinking more about other people and how I view them instead of how they view me.

Philosophy has taught me that there are far more important things to life than money, religion, and material comforts. While I have yet to completely rid myself of attachment to money and material possessions (I'm just as materialistic as the next person), I have learned that to truly enjoy life you have to have a rather laid back attitude toward life. One extreme is analyzing every little detail and overreacting to insignificant events, the other extreme is taking a "fuck it" attitude toward life. I am in the middle, leaning toward the latter extreme. I constantly remind myself that many things are out of my control and all I can do is live my life as best as I possibly can. This is the only way to have a truly rewarding and fulfilling life.