Academia nervosa

I have to admit I am nervous. In fact, I've never been this nervous about anything in my entire life. I'm speaking of the world that awaits me at the other side of the graduation stage. Here I am, January 2005, enveloped in a warm and cozy atmosphere composed of various blankets of protection. The first blanket is the undergraduate evaluation system, or grades. For the past three and a half years, I have read hundreds of thousands of words on such topics as the sociology of transgender individuals or the validity of various mathematical proofs. I did this because I had to satisfy the grading system that dictated my future. If I studied hard and mastered the concepts, I would get an A. At the other end of the spectrum, if I failed to fully understand what was presented to me, I received a mediocre grade. This blanket absolved me of any independent intellectual endeavor. I memorize facts and figures and the academic establishment confers on me an abstract symbol of achievement. Another protective blanket I've had for the past three and a half years is the undergraduate professor. He or she has lectured, taught, and instructed on a still wider array of topics. All I had to do was sit, listen, take notes, or otherwise try to understand what he or she was wanted me to understand. This is directly related to the grading system that is described above. In retrospect, it all seems highly mechanical and impersonal.

So why am I nervous? In several months, I will more than likely be at another institution to get a master's degree. This is a big step on the road to academic freedom, a quest that I have only recently realized I have been on since I was able to turn the pages of a book. Right now, I am not academically free. Sure, I have the option to do research independent of the grading system, and indeed I do whenever I read an anthropology book for pleasure. But no matter what angle I look at it from, I am still bound by the chains of traditional academia. Assuming I end up at one of my graduate schools in the fall, I will have broken those chains and entered a completely new realm. I will be asked, for the first time, to truly think on my own and come up with my own, unique ideas. Are you beginning to understand why I'm so nervous all of a sudden?

Some may argue that I am selling myself short by speaking of my undergraduate career as restricted or somehow bound by chains. Isn't college all about freedom? The answer is no. While the door is there, I have only now been motivated to walk through it. Unfortunately, the majority of undergraduates in this country go to college because their parents "force" them to or because they want a business degree to achieve wealth, not for intellectual freedom. Many professors have fallen in to this monotony of teaching. That is why when a professor stands out as truly exceptional, I take note. I can count on one hand the number of professors that have affected my life in such a way that I consider my character products of their desires. My quest for knowledge of the origin of humanity can be attributed to one professor. Likewise, my admiration and fascination with indigenous Central and South American indigenous cultures can be attributed to two professors. My interest in historical archaeology is the result of one of those professors' research interest. Most likely, my graduate studies will involve the latter subject, and thus my entire life's work and interest.

Although I feel academically restricted, I am not so intellectually. If anything, I am more fired up than ever. I feel like I should be wearing a label that reads "contents under pressure." I have read and read and read about topics that interest me. I finally had a release when I took an archaeology field school this past summer in Belize. It was a release that was far too short. Like a good masturbation session that leaves you aching for the real thing. I've been looking at porno my whole life and I'm ready to bang the supermodel.

So, these chains are about to be broken, and that is why I am so nervous. I have never been faced with direct criticism or rejection of my personal beliefs about anthropology, but only because I have yet to develop my own. Will I be able to? Sure. And I am confident that I can handle criticism. Criticism is what drives science, and it is this concept that comforts me. Where would we be if no one challenged the notion that the earth is flat? Even the academic giants of my generation, like Jared Diamond, will one day have some of his notions proven wrong.

Basically what I am saying here, is that it's a daunting task to be handed: "Do your own research and come up with your own ideas. It has to be original and this means you have nothing to go on. You can cite other research, but remember that this is your own work with your name and reputation attached to it. It can ruin you or make you. Don't fuck it up."

My grandpappy wasn't no ape!

I must relate this latest piece of drama here in my journal, but don't worry, I'll connect it back to my Art of Living as I'm not one for idle chatter.

Today I had Anthropology 324, Human Biological Variation with Dr. McCall. Basically, the class is a study of, well, human variation and the entire course rests on the assumption that evolution and natural selection are factual. Ever since Darwin, there has been heated debate about the validity of evolution, and more recently some public school systems have made the news by placing stickers in science textbooks as a sort of disclaimer that evolution is "just a theory." This is objectionable to any reasonable person with a grasp of scientific principles for obvious reasons.

Dr. McCall decided to go on a tangent and explain to us why what we are learning is important. He is a very practical person, staunchly dedicated to scientific principles and the scientific method. I've had him once before for Human Origins (another potentially hot course for similar reasons) and I've always known him to be very outspoken and unwavering in his beliefs. This is why he has grown to become one of my personal academic heroes.

So, our discussion on why studying genetic variation is important snowballed until we were blatantly discussing the primacy of evolution over creationism, intelligent design, and other non-scientific approaches to human origins. McCall was taking the stance that those who subscribe to creationism (i.e. believe what the Bible says) are ignorant, shortsighted, and hypocritical. I've never seen him so critical of any group before, so it was in a way shocking. Of course, one student in our class raised her hand and politely suggested that some are able to reconcile evolution with Biblical interpretations, as indeed the vast majority of Christians do today. After McCall conceded the remote possibility of a creator being (God), he stated that one would be extremely hard pressed to subscribe to Biblical interpretations of creation while at the same time accepting human evolution as fact. He went on to suggest that believers in creationism pick and choose aspects of science and the Bible, hence the inherent hypocrisy and contradiction in such a stance. The most amusing part was his impression of a "typical" creationist argument: "My grandpappy wasn't no ape! God said so!" Those were his exact words, complete with a thick southern accent. I had found my first true academic hero.

The student eventually gathered her belongings and made her way to the door, obviously agitated. Red-faced and in the most abrasive southern drawl, she forcefully informed the entire class that "y'all need to go to church." We were speechless...for about three seconds.

As Dr. McCall hung his head in despair, the class erupted in a Jerry Springer-like display of "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!" gestures and remarks. It was truly a spectacular sight. Could someone really be this narrow-minded? Was it so that her best comeback after arguing with a trained geneticist was "y'all need to go to church"? Keeping with his personality, McCall had no apologies and informed us that he expected a call from the dean soon. He even related to us another story where he was accused of calling a student "stupid."

I'm sure through the eyes of the offended student, Dr. McCall and the rest of the class was ganging up on her. This is undoubtedly what she will claim if she does voice a complaint. In reality, Dr. McCall argued for the validity of science over unprovable religious ideology. Unfortunately, some in this country still subscribe to creationism or so form of it, and even more allow a belief in a creator being to obscure the truth of genetic fact. McCall was not presenting anything radical. Genetics and science have proven for years that evolution is more than "just a theory," as so many religious people gently remind young children. According to McCall (and I believe him), there is much more evidence for evolution that most other scientific theories, which people readily subscribe to without any question whatsoever. This included the theory of evolution applied to non-human organisms. The hypocrisy and ignorance is endless.

I love college.

I live for truth and knowledge. It is perhaps the number one guiding force in my Art of Living. I believe what can be experienced and comprehended by the human mind. I suspend belief in what has a high degree of probability but has not yet been proven (such as the existence of intelligent life other than on earth). I reject what has no basis in science or reason, including a belief in a higher power or the supernatural. Furthermore, I reject that which inherently has a contradictory nature. By living like this, I am able to accept things as they are and not be taken advantage of. I refuse to be brainwashed by popular culture, religion, politics, and the liberally biased media. I have a brain of my own, and *shock* it operates completely separate from everyone else's. It can be influenced and presented with new facts and ideas, but I will not allow my most valuable asset to be bombarded with ignorance or lies. My mind is my ticket to intellectual freedom, and I refuse to have that taken away from me. That is how I life, in a nutshell.

The next step.

Last night we had some rather interesting discussions in class. It seemed to me to be the first meeting in which we really got personal; where my classmates and I all felt comfortable enough with one another that we didn't hesitate (too much) about expressing what we really feel. I think that says alot. When the entire course it centered on how to live your life, it can get pretty heavy for obvious reasons. As long as self-awareness has been present in the human species, people have hated hearing how one should live their lives. But so far, no student uprisings or major revolts. I think this has to do with the fact that the ancients had it right...but why? Is it because they lived a decidedly simpler life, one without television, internet, and cell phones? Perhaps. It seems to me that we as humans can be too connected, that is we can be so in touch with another person's emotions, thoughts, and opinions that it actually negates the purpose of individuality. In certain situations, such as a loving marriage or mother-child relationship, such a deep perception of the other is beneficial and desirable. In today's technology age, with the click of a mouse we can read a person's deepest thoughts, strongest emotions, and subconscious biases. This ranges from my classmates to someone's blog that I stumble across who lives in Indonesia and lost everything in the tsunami.

As a result, the world we live in today versus twenty, even ten years ago is much smaller. So much so that the concept of learning has taken on new dimensions. Gone are the days of having to go to the library to do simple research. Virtually every fact and figure imaginable has been converted to 1's and 0's and catapulted into the vastness of the internet for all to devour within seconds. Not only are these facts and figures literally at our fingertips, but we can research associated sub-facts and sub-figures to an infinite degree, all the way down to reading an online blog written by someone actually living out those facts and figures. In other words, instead of simply finding what the US's unemployment rate is, we can read a blog by an unemployed person. The facts and figures now have faces.

Jumping back to the topic at hand: people, especially university students, hate being told how to live, yet each of my peers in the Art of Living course seems to be at ease at least seriously contemplating what the ancients, such as Epictetus, suggest is the right way to live. I believe they bring us back to our roots, to life before cable television and high-speed internet access. In most of us there is a hidden part that desires to live virtuously, with honor and dignity. Some people never manifest this hidden desire, some to a small degree, and still others to an extraordinary degree. Like anything, it takes mindfulness, awareness, practice, and patience.

Carson

As most everyone knows by now, Johnny Carson died on Sunday from complications of emphazema. Although I don't think I ever watched a Tonight Show with Carson as host, I've seen countless clips over the years and virtually every one of them was hilarious and, amazingly, timeless. Right now I'm watching a special Tonight Show featuring clips and guests. Although I don't remember Carson as a Tonight Show host, it got me thinking about a very important aspect of life: laughter.

The very thought of living life without the distraction of laughter is scary. It seems that sometimes the whole purpose of life is to laugh. Indeed, some people laugh their whole way through life. Some are very good at it, as was Johnny Carson. There are a number of important things in my life that I could not function without: family, friends, education, and good health. I might as well add laughter to that list. I've been told a few times I have a good sense of humor. I don't know where it comes from or if humans are born with it, but what I do know is that when I make someone laugh, it's one of the greatest feelings in the world because there are so many emotions tied into one. When we laugh, we smile, which in turn can completely alter another person's entire day. I've been more perceptive of that lately, even before Carson's death. A smile from someone you weren't expecting one from can do more for your mood than anything that you can do for yourself. So, the take-home conclusion from this is easy. Smile, laugh, and have fun in life because without these things, everything else is pointless and without purpose.

Epictetus Quote

Your Will Is Always Within Your Power

"Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back. For your own will is always within your control.
Sickness may challenge your body. But are you merely your body? Lameness may impede your legs. But are you not merely your legs? Your will is bigger than your legs.
Your will needn't be affected by an incident unless you let it. Remember this with everything that happens to you."

This passage from Epictetus' "The Art of Living" is one that I agree with on many different levels. First and foremost, it alludes to a degree of personal responsibility that I believe is largely absent from our culture: "For your own will is always within your control." Too often, people look for things to fall back on when they themselves fall, most notably the government or other administrations, such as university professors or police officers. The root of much of this can be traced if one chooses to do so. When people can't find a job, some blame the government instead of looking at themselves and asking how their actions may have contributed to their current situation. When a university student receives a bad grade, some immediately blame the professor and absolve themselves of any deficiency or otherwise expect some sort of academic compensation for outside mishaps.

The second part of the passage has to do with not letting events interfere with your desire to achieve what you have set out to. Sadly, many people are very caught up in the idea of an "I" and the concept of physicality. They believe that their body is what matters, when in reality one's mind is far more useful in achieving goals because it controls the body and the actions it carries out. Here, Epictetus is telling us to not let ordinary adverse circumstances hinder our desire to achieve what we feel will make our existence more meaningful.

The summation of the passage is in the last part; Epictetus tells us that an incident will only affect us if we let it. This is as true today as it was when this passage was written. People need to spend more time reflecting inward instead of searching the world around them for crutches or scapegoats. I also believe that the last part can be switched around to apply to positive incidents. If something good happens to you and you do nothing to foster the consequences, then you will not be affected by it. For example, if someone does something nice for you, to the degree that it has a significant impact on your existence and you fail to recognize the magnitude of such an action, then you will not be affected by it and that good deed will be lost in the wind. It is up to us as individuals to be responsible for handling incidents both positive and negative.

Stoic Exercise: Identifying Roles

The stoic moral exercise of "identifying roles" involves me choosing four roles I play in my life, the relevant people connected with these roles, and what guidelines I believe I should follow in carrying out these roles. First, I believe a short explanation is in order. Out of the fifteen exercises I had to choose from, I picked this one. As soon as I read it I knew I wanted to do it but for a split second, I questioned my motives. I didn't want to come across as egotistical or self-absorbed. At first glance, this particular exercise seemed like it would be, but after reading over the other ones I realized that it didn't necessarily have to be. I suppose I've been brought up in a society where the line between self-consciousness and egotism is very blurred. If believed for a long time that inner reflection is indispensable in leading a fulfilling life, but to be overtly self-absorbed can mean disaster for a meaningful existence. My reason for doing this exercise relates to the former.

At this point in my life, I believe that the most important role for me is world citizen, as broad and ambiguous as it sounds. The relevant people connected to this role do so on many different levels, both directly and indirectly. Directly, they are the people that I have daily contact with. Not only my friends, family, and peers, but the unknown faces that populate the city of Wilmington and the halls of the University. Each of these unique beings play an important role in the machine of human existence, and thus the success or failure of our lives on earth. Indirectly, those entrusted to represent the human race on the world stage also play a role. This is everyone from the chair of an academic department to President Bush. The decision-makers have an obligation to do what's best for those they represent, and conversely we have an obligation to question their decisions and make sure they are representing us, ever mindful of the shadows of human morality and justice that loom. Whether this is always done is debatable and shall be reserved for forum other than this one. Personally, as a world citizen I must be objective, open-minded, contemplative, progressive, conservative, and ever mindful, all at the same time.

A second role that is important in my life is my role as a leader. I am the president of the Crew Club at UNCW and I decided to take on this role for many reasons. After being a member of the rowing team for three years, one of them as vice-president, I realized that I wanted to be more involved in the decision-making process, hopefully having a positive impact on the direction of the team. We are still a small non-varsity club with little funding from the university. Completely student-run, the club depends on an executive board of four students determine where the team will head. The people involved in my role as president are many. First and foremost, the members of the team itself are the ones directly experiencing the consequences of my decisions, positive or negative. It is for them that I strive to find a balance between practicality, stability, and stability. In the eyes of the University, I am the Crew Club. This has many obvious, and sometimes nerve-racking, implications.

Another role that I find myself aiming to fill is that of a student of anthropology. For many of the same reasons I strive to be a good world citizen, I also strive to be a good anthropology student. Studying world cultures and humanity's past is an incredible responsibility, with implications both in the present and in the future. The findings of the biological anthropologist can easily sway public opinion of the meaning of race and ethnic origin. Wars have been fought and hundreds of millions have died because of false notions about something as insignificant as skin color. Similarly, the ethnographies produced by cultural anthropologists offer the public to glimpse into the world of groups of people other than the ones they are intimately familiar with: their own. Morally, the anthropologist has a responsibility to present accurate, unbiased information and interpret it in such a way that it does not contribute to racism, ethnocentrism, or otherwise promote the superiority or inferiority of any one culture. For these reasons, I strive to be a good anthropologist.

Finally, a fourth role I carry out on a daily basis is the friend. I interact with many people over the course of a week and with those that I have close bonds, I must do my best to be many things at once. I must be the eyes, ears, and mind of my friends that are not present at the moment. This means that if I am in a situation that could potentially have an impact on my friends, I must be able to accurately and truthfully relate any information to them (it's not as mechanical as it sounds, think on a deeper level). For this reason, I must be truthful, sensitive, and mindful of the easily damaged bond that ties me together with those I care for.

The lights go down.

Lots of mixed feelings at the moment: happiness, nervousness, relief, anticipation, and excitement to name the top five. Most of them have to do with one thing: graduate school. I have sent of my applications to three schools that I want to go to: College of William & Mary, University of South Carolina, and University of South Florida. Although William & Mary is my top choice, I would be happy with any one of these choices. The feelings mentioned above are the result of literally having my entire future "out there." I finished mailing off the last of the applications last week and it's literally out of my hands now. My future lies in the decision of a handful of academics who will decide if I am worthy enough to study at their respective institution of higher learning. I've been told by a few people that I have nothing to worry about. Only a slight consolation. It almost feels like that separately, my grades, GRE scores, and GPA are mediocre. When taken into account together and with my letters of recommendation, coursework, and presiding over the Crew Club I have a very strong application pack. So the sense of nervousness comes from whether or not those academics will see what I see. I'm one hundred percent positive that I would be able to complete a Master's degree at any one of the schools, it's just up to them to come to that conclusion as well. But I have decided that at this point, it all depends on my competition.

Aside from the whole "getting accepted" thing, what makes me nervous as well is moving away, starting in a new town, meeting an entirely new group of peers, and otherwise functioning on a completely different level, one that I've dabbled in but still have alot to learn about. That level is academia. Once in graduate school, I'm no longer a "student" of the faculty but a peer. While they will instruct me, they will be more my mentors than anything, guiding me in the process of developing a research thesis completely derived from my own interests and abilities. There is no sheet that lists ten topics where I pick one and write about it. This is my opportunity to actually contribute to the field of anthropology with a fresh and unique perspective. I know I sound like a course catalog here but it's the truth. I feel like that all through high school and even college, I've just been plowing on, learning facts and theories and how OTHER people apply them to the real world. Although I've definitely been challenged in my university career, I have not had the opportunity to contribute to the field as I want to do so badly. That is the whole point of graduate school, and the most exciting part. But nervousness once again shows its ugly face. Will I be able to come up with my own original ideas that actually matter? Should I even worry about becoming the next James Deetz or Jared Diamond? Perhaps not, but it's something to strive for. And as I said in my last post, to not have lofty dreams is to do mediocre work. The one comforting fact in this whole matter is that my mind is unique to that of Jared Diamond and it would be wrong to try and follow in his footsteps, especially in a field such as anthropology or any humanity for that matter.

I can compare the past four years of my life and my future to a rock concert. When you arrive at the venue, the curtain is down and there's an intense amount of excitement brewing in your stomach. You're here to see your favorite band, but realize that you have to sit through one or two opening acts. The curtain comes up for the opening band. You're a little pumped at first but soon realize they suck so you get bored. The name of this band is High School. The curtain goes back down and you know the next band, College, will be on soon. You wait for thirty minutes, an hour. You know the roadies are hard at work behind the curtain, setting up the stage to enable the band to give you a spectacular show. The lights go black. The screaming starts, the hands go in the air, the crowd lurches forward toward the stage but you don't care that a fat, sweaty, drunk man with no shirt on is pressing up against you. You look around and realize that you're lost in a sea of nameless faces, all here for the same reason. That is the only thing you have in common with them.

This is the point where I am at now in the rock concert that is my life. The college years are those few moments before the curtain goes up for the main act, when you're lost in a sea of nameless faces. Graduate school, your opportunity to shine, is right behind that curtain, waiting to rock your face off...

....To be continued (in 2-3 years).

So is a lover of philosphy a "love of the love of knowledge"?

A stupid question, granted. But after toiling through tonight's homework I came to the realization that the entire purpose of my life is based on knowledge and the love thereof. I've always had hints of this throughout my college career (it certainly didn't manifest itself during high school). I will use this post to describe those hints, leaving you with a notion of where I am now in my "Art of Living" as related to meaning in my life.

Flashback: freshman year, 2001. I am a small fish in a very large, and very Caucasian pond. I knew that I was here to learn "stuff": facts from a textbook, places on a map, and the way of the number. In 2001, I was under the false impression that I was a film student. I thought that I could make a living by filming various real-life situations and make money from it. To be a documentary filmmaker was my dream for at least a year before I came to college. After four semesters of basic studies and a few film classes, I realized that not only did I not want to make films, but that I would probably be really bad at it even if I did. This, coupled with my general disappointment of the film program at UNCW, naturally led me to the field of anthropology. It's not as an extreme jump as it sounds: instead of simply filming society and culture I decided that I wanted to study it from a social scientific perspective. My camera would me my own eyes and my film will eventually be the pages of Nature magazine or National Geographic. Overly optimistic? Perhaps, but to not have lofty goals is to do mediocre work. But I digress.

Now, in 2005, I consider myself a devoted student of anthropology, or the study of humans. How I was led to such a field I do not know, but I can speculate that a large part of it has to do with my father, whom I still have vivid memories of (some from the past weeks) coming home from the library with the widest assortment of books that one could imagine. On any given night you could catch my father reading about the Civil War and the very next afternoon at the dinner table he would mention a book he picked up about the pencil (I kid you not, there is a book called "The Pencil"). Why in the world would I remember something like this? Because it was the environment in which I grew up and it has everything to do with the way I am now. I was raised by my father to love knowledge. Although I never sat on his knee while he described the beauty and power of the written word, I can easily imagine such a scenario should my life be adopted as a Broadway musical. Not only did I inherit from my father a penchant for late-night reading over a bowl of cold cereal, but I gained an understanding of life that can only come from experience. It is one thing to read a book about pencils, but it is a decidedly astronomical feat when you can read a book about pencils and have that serve as a milestone in your son's life, a realization as it were. That realization came several years later, but the mere fact that a book can be written about the history of the pencil and its historical implications is motivation for me to gain as much knowledge as possible about anything and everything. Knowledge is more than what is written in books. If I knew every word in an anthropology textbook, I have learned nothing more than the order of abstract symbols (letters). If I apply what I read to real life situations and try to gain some sort of understanding about what makes humans human and how this can be applied to today's world, then I have learned something.

How does this relate back to my Art of Living? My purpose in life is not to waste it believing in an entity that I cannot experience or observe. Some people are able to and this is where they find meaning. With this I have no reason to argue or criticize. On a personal level, as the Christian reads the Bible to find meaning in the world, I read the Bible to investigate what it can tell us about past cultures, and why people think the way they do. Likewise, I read history books not only because they interest me, but because I firmly believe that knowledge of the past can only benefit me in the future, both in a materialistic sense andon a deeply personal level.

Socrates W. Bush

For our assignment for class tonight we were to Read Socrates' Euthyphro and Apology, the latter supposedly being the actual speech Socrates gave at his trial. I chose to write on "religion and being religious", and how this relates to Socrates' as well as my own Art of Living. The readings were only mildly confusing, as I am new to philosophy and I was able to walk away with several conclusions. First, and most satisfying, was the realization that Socrates would be a great United States president.

Indeed, Plato thought it absurd that the wisest man in the country should not be its leader. I cannot help but entertain the thought that the current state of democracy in this country could be greatly aided by Socrates' wisdom. This is not to say that I believe our system is broken, but that is has become so diluted by pointless bickering, idle chatter, and political correctness that these very characteristics have become an indistinguishable aspect of the American political system. Ancient philosophers would recognize our version of democracy only on paper. It's administration (as in the practice of democracy today) is so far off from the notion of a government "for the people, by the people" that it has almost become something completely different. I forgot who said that American government was designed so that the average farmer could lay down his hoe, lead the country for a term, and then return to his farm and pick his hoe back up. Of course that idea has long since vanished with the unsettling developments in war and technology, but the principle should still remain. If the wisest man in the country happens to be a farmer, democracy holds that the people will realize this and elect him to high office. This was what Plato was getting at and what Socrates layed the groundwork for (truth and reason, etc.).

It also struck me how timeless Socrates' wisdom is. I realize millions of people have already realized this, but it's fun to finally get it for myself. If I was a teenager on the street in Athens way back when and came across Socrates, I would be intrigued. I would smell the fresh air and see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is neat to realize that I can easily place myself in the shoes of those teenages that Socrates was accused of corrupting. Although Athenian society was undoubtedly more closeminded and conservative than 2005's United States, similar problems still exist. There is a politcal majority, the conservatives, and there is a political minority, the liberals and unaffiliated. I am of the latter persuasion. And it is as true today as it was back then: the progressive minority is more outspoken and annoying (in a good way) than the conservative administrators. The fact that this paragraph was written and makes sense is one of the great things about democracy.

But again, enough of my rather unorganized political thoughts. If they serve any purpose here it's to reveal a little bit of the way I think about the world around me and thus a hint of my art of living.

Welcome

So welcome to my art of living web log. The only ones reading this are probably my classmates, my extremely wonderful and intelligent professor who is jumping on the blog wagon, and my parents. But those are the only people that would be interested in such a reflection journal anyway so I wouldn't find myself dissapointed if this isn't picked up as a column in the New York Times. I was prompted to start this journal because I am required to. The more I thought about it after tonight's class, the more I realized that it's probably going to be quite an experience. I have another journal that some of my friends read, but that mostly consists of everyday happenings in my life, occasionally interjected with reflections or inwardly-directed conclusions. In contrast, this journal aims to serve as a documentation of my 14-week endeavour into true philosophical thinking, which I have never done before in an academic setting. It's both exciting and new, but not scary or cause for nervousness.

I suppose I can begin by addressing this title of this entry. What the...? Until today, I hadn't the faintest idea what "Art of Living" meant. Now I know that it's how one lives his or her life, is basically how I interpret it. I'm sure my definition of the concept will gel in the coming weeks. Until then, these entries will evolve as Dr. Schmid stated they would. For now, they may seem a little scattered (as this one obviously is), but I anticipate falling into a routine of reflecting on life, and what's going on in the world. Oh, and most importantly, assignments from class.

This being entry #1, it might be a good opportunity to briefly describe what I view as my art of living, as I'm sure it's going to develop in the coming weeks (but probably not change). I believe that one can have a sound moral system without a belief in God or gods or even without possessing any spirituality at all. This is how I operate. I don't kill because it hurts other people, not because I fear God. Similarly, I don't cheat in college because it defeats the purpose of me and my parents paying for my education, not because a being more powerful than myself deems cheating wrong ("higher power" in this case being both God and the university administration). Aside from morality, which includes honestly, I'm also big on personal accountability. In other words, not placing blame on others or some unseen force. There are influences that may have contributed to one's present condition that were outside of that person's control, but a degree of this personal accountability is highly important to me. Humans haven't gotten as far as they have by sitting around blaming their problems on outside factors.

So there you have it, my first post in what I'm sure will prove to be a rather intruiging journal, at least for a small segment of the population. This one was rambling, but I promise I'll work on that!