Thursday, February 10, 2005

moving right along

How about I talk about some light-hearted things for a change? This whole Art of Living thing is starting to drag me down ever so slightly...the class...the journal...the people. I've never taken a philosophy course before in my life. You don't have to ask such tough questions in archaeology. I'll stick to digging up old pottery sherds and medicine bottles as a profession. It's "what's the meaning of life and death?" vs. "what does this stratigraphic sequence of pottery suggest about the social status of those living here?" It's like philosophy is going into a dark cave to seek out the things you don't really want to think about but have to to give meaning to your life. And just when I think that it really, really sucks I tell myself that it's worth it. Philosophical inquiry is worth it.
My art of living is a happy one. Enough about God, existence, and death for a few posts. What drives me each morning to get up out of bed and run full-speed in to the day without hesitation? Maybe it's because each day that passes is one day closer to the next step. I must look at it that way to stay sane. Philosophers have been accused of being morose about life and the future. I am a philosopher...we all are. And while I see the positive and negative, I choose to dwell on the former rather than the later. So, the next step drives me. What else? Interaction with people keeps me going day to day.
I constantly try to surround myself with people that like me, and who I like. Suprisingly, it's not that hard. What's better than waking up and the first thought that passes through your mind as you fumble with the shower dial is "man, does it really get better than this?" I stand there for a moment and let the hot water wash over me at 8:00 in the morning. I have just had an intense workout and I imagine washing away the mistakes and missed opportunities of yesterday. I can almost see them swirl down the drain along with my sweat. And when I step out, I'm a fresh human being, most literally. I really do see each day as a new opportunity to make people happy, make their day a little better. I'm not so conceded as to think that this is my purpose in life, but instead I do it because I want the same done to me. Most of the first part of the day I'm silent...sitting in class, listening to McCall fumble through his lecture on human variation at the most miniscule molecular level or McGowen get overly excited about the freedom philosophy provided the mind. Classes go by, I get a little bit smarter. I start to open up at lunch with Angela, Alisha, and Ashley. Over a box of warm Chic-fil-a nuggets at the Hawk's Nest I make an effort to open up.
As the afternoon goes on I close back up. I value my alone time. They say humans are intensely social creatures but if I had to be social 24 hours a day I would go crazy. During my several hours of alone time in the afternoon I fight of random feelings of guilt about locking myself in my apartment killing time on the internet, downloading music, and watching TV. Convenitently, I have the excuse of this part of my day being homework time, and more often than not it's justified and I do some work.
I've been doing the same thing for years, just in a different order. I love routine, but at the same time I'm scared of it. Again, what drives me is that soon I'll graduate and be doing something radically different. Then I'll find my routine there.
My art of living is in there somewhere, among all the bits of routine that make up my day. I like to learn, I like to learn from people and from books and from people that know alot of what's in books. It makes me a better person. The more I know, the more people I interact with...the better prepared I am to get up in the morning and run full-speed in to the day with hesitation.

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