Montaigne on Men, Women and the Role of Pleasure in the Good Life

In "On some verses of Virgil", Michel de Montaigne advocates temperate use of pleasure, namely sex, in enjoying life's pleasures. In this essay, Montaigne begins by giving the reader an insight into his personal situation: one that has been ravaged by age and kept alive by memories. He is fully aware of his younger days and suggests that pleasure does not wither away with age like the body does. His goal in life is "to live and enjoy myself" and he tries his best to avoid negativity and that which causes pain or discomfort. The latter, according to Montaigne, necessitates seeking pleasure in life and much of the rest of the essay is focused on courtship and the interactions between men and women. He elaborates on how each functions in situations where pleasure is the goal and stresses the use of moderation so as to not dilute that which makes pleasure pleasurable. Montaigne explains the role of pleasure as one of usefulness, for it can enable us to feel good about others and ourselves if used correctly. One quote that seems to adequately portray Montaigne's view on the role of pleasure in the good life is the conclusion of his essay:

"In bringing these infamous jottings to an end I have loosed a diarrhea of babble, but let me close on a single point: I saw that men and women are made in the same mould when it comes to sex; save for education and custom, there is hardly any difference between them. It is far easier for men to criticize their women than to acquit themselves. As the saying goes: it is the pot calling the kettle black."

In the above quote, Montaigne places men and women on the same level when dealing with sex, pleasure, and its associated feelings and actions. It is important to place Montaigne's work in a social context, and when applied today it takes on a different meaning. I would, however, tend to agree with Montaigne that men and women are essentially the same when it comes to sex and pleasure, for it is culturally generated gender roles that greatly influence perceptions on sex, particularly in the past century. If one is able to look beyond gender roles, we are able to see sex for what it is: a biological mechanism for the reproduction of the human species. It then follows that culturally applied norms and expectations on what men should think about sex versus what women should think form the foundation for the argument that there is an underlying basis for feelings on sex. Prior to the 1960's Cultural Revolution, it was generally expected that a man was the dominant force in the initiation of sex and that the woman was to willingly accept her role as a reproductive medium. She thus lost her individuality as a sexual partner and thus her ability to view sex as a pleasurable experience. Following the 1960's, American society opened up and women became empowered, rejecting the outdated notion that sex to them was strictly reproductive. Women were now able to be open about sexuality as a source of pleasure in life and were no longer tied down by stereotypes. Over the years, sex eventually became synonymous with the ultimate pleasure and a mentality of hedonistic escapism entered popular culture full-force. This way of thinking survives today and we are taught that it is unnatural and even dangerous to suppress the natural desire for sexual pleasure.

This overemphasis on sex in today's culture is notable, for it overshadows many other activities than can potentially contribute to a meaningful or "good" life. That is not to say that I am advocating abstinence in favor of "safer" forms of recreation, but instead that sex is not the only pleasure available to us and too much of it, as Montaigne suggests, can reverse any potential benefits to leading a good life.