Now I know what people are talking about when they refer to leaders having to make "tough choices" and face the crowd. Developments over this past weekend are putting me in such a situation. The new coaches and I have to confront the team again with another set back that will find the season slipping further through our fingers. We are being kept off the water because we don't have a chase boat, something that we desperately need mostly for safety reasons, but for coaching purposes as well. We haven't rowed on the water once this season and our first regatta is on March 19th. Not having enough funding is one thing and a problem that we've had since I've been in the Crew Club. Completely changing our policy for the betterment of the team over the long term is tough, but I'm optimistic people will ultimately understand.
The dilemma I'm faced with is only a perceived one. I found myself this weekend sucking up my pride and taking a "fuck it" attitude. I'm the president of the team and I can't run and hide from what I signed on to do. Even though the team may become vocally frustrated with a decision that I made and take it out on me, what comforts me is knowing that I'm doing what's best for the team in the short term and the long term. I don't want rowers on the water without a safety boat, something we haven't had for 95% of my time on the team. We've been extremely lucky. I've recently been contemplating the legacy I'm going to leave for the team. I want to see the team grow both literally and competitively. What I don't want my legacy to be is a dead rower feeding the fish at the bottom of the Cape Fear River. To achieve the former we as a team cannot take our safety for granted any more.
I find my art of living influencing my leadership. I could easily drop out of the club or blame someone else for this relatively minor setback. I could be a coward and run from the problem so as to avoid the criticism of some people on the team. But this goes against everything I believe and I'm only now realizing that it's hard to live up to that standard that I have set for myself. The one question I asked myself and that I had no trouble answering was "is your pride worth more than the life or safety of a rower?" Of course, the answer is no and I am almost embarrassed that I found myself this weekend culling through the USRowing and UNCW Sports Club waivers of liability trying to justify getting on the water without a chase boat. Just when I thought I was in the clear, my conscious kicked in and I realized that if something did happen on the water, my justification for doing the bare minimum would mean nothing in the eyes of the university and a judge overseeing the lawsuit.
So I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow morning when the coaches and I tell the team yet again that we won't be on the water until we buy or get donated a chase boat. I'm confident it will happen, because 20 rowers who love the sport will do anything to play it.
1 comment:
A tough call but right on the money! It is easy to talk about leadership but this decision will show it. Note too that this is arguably the biggest speech of your life--a truly "fierce conversation" in which you have to set out your reasons before a group of people who respect you but who want to row and may think it is chickenshit not to. Some facts about the risk may help. But the bottom line is that "It's up to you!" and they either respect you for accepting your responsibility --or ask you to live a lie. No matter how it goes with the team, you will do the right thing. But if you do it right, you will both teach and lead, and your team will see more clearly what your whole endeavor is all about. Its a sport, not more--or less.
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