Saturday, April 23, 2005

FIN

Well, it is that time. As the semester winds down, so does my Art of Living blog. It has been a unique journey to say the least, filled with reflections that have helped me think, grow, and change. I am grateful this assignment was given because it allowed me to not only keep my own thoughts straight, it allowed other people to glimpse my life which reciprocated back to me in many different ways. It's as if for the past four months my very existence was served up several times a week for anyone and everyone to scrutinize and comment on, if they chose. The comments I did receive were comforting in the sense that I realized at least my thoughts were coherent. Existentialists have often struggled with the fundamental question of whether or not "the other" (i.e. other people) sees the world in the same way as the "I" (i.e. myself). I'm confident we all see the same world, only with a multitude of interpretations. It is this notion that makes life interesting and worth living to the fullest.

I remember the first PAR 400 meeting when we were asked to create and maintain an online journal. The goal was to reflect on class assignments and readings and to define our own Art of Living. In respect to the former, I found blog assignments effortless because so much of what we read and discussed had a profound effect on the way I think about and view the world. From Aurilius to Thoreau, anyone who chose to espouse their Art of Living did so in such an elegant and beautiful way that they are now permanently engrained in my existence.

So, as to avoid any awkward cliches, I will leave this journal the same person but with a new view of the world. In conjunction with my other philosophy course, I now fully realize that too much of our collective existence is centered around the individual...the "I." In a burst of bright light I came to the realization that my own existence does not begin and end with me. Unfortunately, I must live in a world where this concept goes unrealized. I do not loose all hope, however, as I refer back to my previous statement that such diversity is the only basis on which my life can have meaning and be worth living.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Retrospective

I was looking through some old posts I made at my old blog and I thought it would be cool to post some excerpts that have to do with my search for a graduate school. Now that I've chosen South Florida, it seems strange to see how adament I was on going to William & Mary and how worried I was that I wouldn't get in. Enjoy!
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I e-mailed 2 profs at USC and a couple of people at william & mary asking about the grad school and asking to set up a meeting. I got replies from both and it seems pretty promising. I think I'm on the right track setting up in-person meeting, even though its going to suck driving to richmond and columbia in the course of a few months. but I do alot of driving anyway. i'm starting to get really excited about graduate school, and as the days go on, I feel more and more confident that I'll get into one of my top choices.

Monday, October 18, 2004
Well, I found another grad school, and this one is perfect for me (more than William & Mary?). university of south florida's program seems like it's got all I want: a masters program in applied or public archaology plus it looks like it hardcore in-the-dirt archaeology. the only small catch is that I have to get my GPA up to at least 3.2 because their requirements made it sound like you HAVE to have that minimum, although most school are flexible, USF might be a little more strict (because they used the word "must"). But that's totally not impossible, I just basically have to get straight A's this semester and as of now, that doesn't seem to far-fetched. might be able to get by with a B according the GPA calculator. well, I'm going to stop being a nerd for now and go to bed. on the water with the novice tomorrow morning!

Thursday, October 28, 2004
well, here we go. I am taking the GRE tomorrow morning at 8am. right now, i'm surprisingly calm and relaxed, and i'm trying to keep it that way and get a good night's rest. i'm trying not to let the running around with crew/regatta business mess me up and it's working. have everything pretty much under control. i told myself i wouldn't study tonight but i'll probably go over some basic concepts one more time and some vocabularly i'm 99% sure is going to be on there. so until then, i'm just relaxing here by myself (my favorite company), listening to sigur ros, and counting down to one of the more important events of my academic career. i know i'm going to rock it...it's just a matter of not losing my neves, which I don't plan on doing.

Friday, October 29, 2004
so how about the schools? Well, I did 20 points better than the average of accepted grad students at William & Mary, my top choice. Their avg. was 1070 and mine of course was 1090. But their average writing score was 6, which pretty much tells me that they consider that part the most important, and pretty much all accepted people got a 6. So we'll have to wait and see. I'm 10 points shy of the U. of South Florida anthro minimum of 1100, but who knows, I could impress them with my field work and other stuff. Not sure about U. of South Carolina. And I'm still confident about ECU, of course.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004
tomorrow morning I leave for Williamsburg. I have a meeting with Dr. Mary Voight, director of graduate studies at William & Mary around 2:30pm, so I'll have to leave early. Then on Friday morning I meet with Dr. Gallivan to basically beg to work with him and push for me to get admitted. all in all i think this is going to be a worthwhile trip and might even put me over the top to get admitted. we shall see. I'm still waiting for the rest of my GRE score to come in the mail. still hoping for a 6 on the writing part.

Monday, November 08, 2004
had the big weekend up in williamsburg to visit W&M. not surprisingly, it went extremely well, meetings and all. I got up there thursday afternoon around 12:30 and after checking in to my hornet-infested hotel room (they eventually moved me) and having a quick bite to eat at the College Deli, I met with Dr. Mary Voigt, director of graduate studies. she was a very nice and receptive to my visit, and seemed thankful that there was an interested grad applicant who was doing his homework. luckily she did most of the talking. the next day I met with professor gallivan. he seemed really cool and also welcomed the interest in the program. we talked for about 30 or 40 minutes and I learned alot about the program and his work. i also got to hang out with a few masters and a Ph.D. student in the arch. lab, which was actually pretty helpful. the anthro department itself is pretty amazing...display cases everywhere having to do with some of the faculty's areas of study, and a classroom/museum that along put the entire UNCW anthro department to shame. of course, the campus is ancient which immediately makes it attractive to me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004
and I'm headed to columbia, SC this weekend to check out their grad school. it's a big school, but the program seems small enough and it's a good backup in case william and mary falls though (look at me gettin' all cockey!). so pretty much the end of the semester is winding down and the shit is once again making its way toward the fan, but I think I might make it out alive this time.

Saturday, November 20, 2004
Well, the verdict is in! We all know I rocked the verbal (560) and quantitative (530) sections, but the big one I was waiting on is the analytical writing section. Drumroll...

5.5!

That's right, 5.5 out of 6. And if that wasn't enough, the ultimate ego trip is the description for a 5.5 score:

"Sustains insightful, in-depth analysis of complex ideas; develops and supports main points with logically compelling reasons and/or highly persuasive examples; is well focused and well organized; skillfully uses sentence variety and precise vocabulary to convey meaning effectively; demonstrates superior facility with sentence structure and language usage but may have minor erros that do not interfere with meaning."

That's right bitches. William & Mary is about to become William, William, & some bitch named Mary.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Four years later...

Well, the journey is over. My fate has been decided and all my options have been exhausted. This afternoon I received in the mail an offer to study at William & Mary in the fall. In a way, I was expecting an acceptance because I was first on the waiting list and so it only took one person to turn down their initial offer for me to be bumped up. It's hard to believe that after all these months of stressing out over William & Mary's admissions, applications, thank you letters, e-mails, visits, and phone calls, I am still content with my decision to study at South Florida. It seems almost like a dream that happened yesterday where I was so confident that Williamsburg was my destiny, but for some reason events had me accepting an offer in Tampa.

It is also not lost on me that this is the exact same situation I was in four years ago, perhaps to the day. Then, I wanted to attend Chapel Hill and had my mind set to it. I was confident I would get in and became very excited about the prospect of studying at an elite university. I was first deferred then rejected, and "settled" for UNCW. Within a year at Wilmington I knew that I had been rejected from UNC for a reason. My home was here. I began to see the differences between the prospects of attending a huge university and studying at a smaller, growing campus. By my second year, I was convinced that UNCW was the right place to end up. To this day, I tell anyone who asks that I was lucky to get rejected from UNC. I would never have had the opportunity to lead a rowing team, write for the school newspaper, excel in two majors, and spend a month in Central America among 3,000 year old ruins.

My experience with applying to undergraduate actually played a major role in my decision to study at South Florida. William & Mary is an elite university, the oldest one in the country, and their anthropology department is perhaps the top program for historical archaeology on the East Coast. But they cannot offer me any sort of assistantship or financial aid, and I feel that my opportunities would be limited, as there is no one on the faculty that works in Central America. University of South Florida is located in a beautiful state in one of the biggest cities in the country. They are able to offer me financial aid and I'm almost guaranteed the chance to study again in Central America. The choice for me is clear. While USF may not be as prestigious as William & Mary, I know Tampa is where I belong. I don't doubt for one minute that a year from now I'll be regretting my decision.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Dialogue

This past Friday we had yet another interesting 50 minutes in my Philosophy 101 class. While the meeting began as strictly in the context of philosophers like Sartre and Buber, it eventually progressed into a discussion on the contemporary issue of the role of dialogue in the "war on terrorism."

What McGowan (the instructor) was advocating was constantly striving for dialogue with those who are "out to get" the United States. Although this may never be achieved, we must avoid concluding that it can't. In other words, while he advocates peace and non-violence, he seemed to suggest that our current situation is a necessary evil. McGowan continued by saying, unambiguously, that we as Americans have no grounds on which to condemn terrorists or their actions, including the 9/11 hijackers. Needless to say, at least one student took offense and cited her faith in God as reason enough to condemn terrorist acts. I think McGowan's methodology was lost on many students when he pursued the issue and used the "but why not?" line of questioning when challenging her. He eventually backed off a little bit and revealed that he was trying to get us to think, which is where he excels as a professor (purposefully enrage students in order to get them to think). After the class meeting, I started having second thoughts about all the perceived liberal bias in academia. At least in this case, McGowan was advocating an extreme view on terrorism in order to get us, as students of philosophy, to think.

While I didn't take offense at McGowan's comments and agreed with him to an extent, I echoed the "war-as-necessary-evil" argument but stopped short of suggesting that terrorists are justified in their acts of violence. Indeed, I believe that their basic argument, while completely wrong on moral grounds, is valid. What McGowan was doing was completely removing the emotional/political/moral aspect of terrorism vs. the United States and challenging us to approach the other side in an objective manner. While this method is rejected by many people as impossible, McGowan's overarching argument is that in order to achieve the desired result (i.e. peace) we have to constantly strive for dialogue with our enemies, regardless of whether or not it seems impossible. I agree with him in that if we continue as we are, the United States will ultimately fail at winning the war on terror.

On a personal level, I can't think of a single more important concept than dialogue. Everything we do in life, every aspect of our existence, is governed by the idea that we are able to interact with those around us. Even the most reclusive hermit is influenced in his ways by the outside world. For this reason, it seems ridiculous to assume that anyone can progress through life by ignoring the ideas of others and not considering all reasonable options. In terms of my Art of Living, I have begun to incorporate dialogue into my everyday existence, the most significant manifestation of that being discussions via the internet. From reading blogs to posting my own thoughts on message boards, not only am I giving my opinion but I am nurturing and informing it at the same time. I am constantly disheartened at the amount of stubbornness that dominates many people's thought process, sometimes to the point of complete ignorance. While it is not my place to judge anyone for the way they think, I can only hope that science and reason will prevail in the end.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Self-evaluation

Here is the brief self-evaluation I was asked to write for my Philosophy 101 course. I think it makes a swell blog entry as well because it may provide insight to why many of my posts are the way they are.
Although a critical evaluation of the current state of academia will be avoided, it is worth noting that my recent awareness of the matter has led me to conclude a major point: A tremendous effort must be made on the part of the student to meticulously scrutinize and evaluate the information being presented in a university course in order to receive a well-rounded, quality education, particularly in the humanities and social sciences. A course in existential philosophy could not have come at a better time for me.

Overall, I am pleased with my progress over the past semester. I have not missed any meetings and I manage to consistently turn in what I feel are quality papers. The nature of the course has caused me to take an active interest in the material and truly reflect on the topics, making paper writing effortless and enjoyable. Consequently, I feel that I have produced some of my best essays in all of my four years at UNCW. This has to do with that fact that I believe philosophical thinking should (and does in this case) go beyond a simple academic study of the topic. The paper topics are such that they require us to think for ourselves and apply the concepts and themes to our own lives; something that I feel is not stressed enough in undergraduate coursework.

While my performance in the course thus far has been nothing less than what I normally expect of myself, the unorthodox class format and teaching style has made me aware of the importance of constant self-evaluation and inner reflection. This is in contrast with the typical university course where grades and minimum requirements are emphasized over the benefits of a more personal, reflective approach to higher learning. The result is usually a detached, unimpassioned approach to education on the part of the student. Over the past semester, I have taken full advantage of the class format and used it to my benefit. I don't have to worry about attendance, due dates, participation grades, quiz grades, multiple choice exams, group work, PowerPoint presentations, or getting the right answer. While some of these are important to the class, the point is that I don't have to worry about them. As for getting the right answer, I have learned that there is no right answer in philosophy. That is the beauty of this course and the reason why I feel I have been enjoying it so much.

Over the past four months, I have experienced a metamorphosis in the way I think about and view the world. This change, I feel, has much to do with the material covered in Philosophy 101. I believe that the format of the class has allowed me to not only learn about existential philosophy from an academic standpoint, but to apply existential concepts and themes to my own world. I have rejected many of the more extreme philosophies, such as nihilism and other overemphasis on death and despair. Conversely, I have embraced Heidegger's discussions of conscious awareness of death as the key to understanding and appreciating the nature of our existence. Although I have yet to fully grasp the intricacies of many of the philosophies discussed in class, they have made me realize that there is far more to life than simply existing.

In conclusion, I am very satisfied with my performance in the course given the limits of undergraduate coursework, such as brief fifty-minute sessions and a consideration for other courses. My only regret is that I didn't have enough time to fully immerse myself in the worlds of Heidegger, Husserl, Sarte, Kierkegaard, and others. I got feeling that these fellows has massive amounts of time on their hands to not only produce the work they did, but to synthesize and reflect on it in the first place. I am envious to say the least.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Turtle


There was a massive snapping turtle outside of my apartment this afternoon. I noticed it when I was driving to the store and thought it was fake at first because it was hardly moving. When I returned, he had walked about fifteen yards toward the road so I got Angela, and walked over to the next building and told Meredith to come out as well. The image above could just as well be a video clip because he didn't move at all while we were looking at him. We were afraid that the turtle would wander into the road, but an hour or so later he was gone, hopefully back to his home.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The Next Step

My entire future was just decided in the past five minutes. I received in the mail today the unofficial acceptance letter from U. of South Florida to their Public Archaeology MA program. Yesterday I had received an e-mail from U. of South Carolina offering me $10,000/year though an assistantship and tuition waiver. No word yet from William & Mary on whether or not I'm off the waiting list.

Five minutes ago, I just made one of the biggest decisions of my life. One that will shape who I am, who I become as a person, and how I think. It's the last one that makes such a decision so hard.

So, a few minutes ago I had my USF acceptance letter in one hand and my cell phone in the other with the graduate director's phone number entered and ready to dial. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and once again imagined myself at each school. I can honestly say it was the first time in my entire life flashed before my eyes. I opened my eyes and stared at the letter some more. "This is it," I thought. I put my phone down, stood up, and paced my room twice. Outloud, I said "Fuck it" and picked my phone back up and dialed USF. I left a message on the director's voice mail that I plan on attending in the fall.

Tampa, here I come.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Aspects

Over the past several weeks I've become more and more aware of my Art of Living. That is to say that I am beginning to realize the constituent parts that combine to form the structure of how I operate on a daily basis. This, I believe, is the most important step in making any art of living work for you. We can aspire to always tell the truth, never make assumptions, or be kind to others but in order for those things to take full effect we must really stand back and look at ourselves from a different perspective. One has to consider the consequences, both positive and negative, of applying a new aspect to an art of living. In other words, it is one thing to say you're going to do something to better yourself but it is another to truly make it work on a fundamental level. If you never contemplate the ramifications of fine-tuning your art of living how are you going to grow intellectually and emotionally, if those are your ultimate goals?

What I think will help me, and what I'm surprised I haven't done yet, is to list the major aspects of my art of living. A nice, concise list of what it is that guides me through the hours of my day, the days of my weeks, and the weeks of my years, and the years of my life. Dr. Phil would be proud.

Aspects of My Art of Living (in no particular order)
  1. Always tell the truth.
  2. Read.
  3. Listen.
  4. Don't worry about what other people think about you.
  5. Realize and appreciate when you're better than someone else.
  6. Realize and appreciate when someone else is better than you.
  7. Keep your word.
Edit: Initially I had short descriptions for each aspect but they started to sound ridiculous so I left them out. I think these speak for themselves. Like everything in life (including life itself) they aren't concrete and are subject to change.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Third Agreement

Here is an excerpt from my philosophy paper on Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements, A Toltec Wisdom Book. Agreements three is "don't make assumptions."
To not make assumptions seems to go against the very nature of humanity, but by consciously avoiding unwarranted judgement we not only eliminate seeds of hate and bias but also facilitate the growth of understanding, kindness, and a plurality of meaningful arts of living. Too often we read and hear about negative events that could have easily been avoided had only we opened our minds to a deeper level of understanding. I am reminded of the recent case involving Terri Schivo, a woman whose vegetative state resulted in a divided family. From every direction came assumptions, judgements, accusations, and falsities that resulted in this very unfortunate situation becoming a national embarrassment. Reputable news agencies abandoned any remnants of journalistic integrity by openly speculating on the motivations of those involved. Unsubstantiated reports continue to saturate the airwaves and news presses. Does Terri Schivo's husband want her dead so he can marry his girlfriend? Do her parents want her alive for purely political and religious reasons? The assumptions resulting from such speculative news reporting has the adverse side effect of perpetuating a slow moral decline in the United States. Since major news outlets bombard us with stories on a daily basis, over time we are desensitized to the fact that making assumptions only negates any reasonable and moral art of living.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Books

I am in a literal utopia at the moment (yes that was pun...my apologies). I found myself back at Edward McKay tonight, a paradise for nonfiction bookworms such as myself. Each time I browse this used bookstore I am amazed at the quality of their science, anthropology, and nature sections. Apparently Winston-Salem lacks the same taste in books as me. With a grant from the Bank of Mother I acquired two Wade Davis volumes, One River and Shadows in the Sun, Lost World by Tom Koppel, and a slightly tattered collection of Henry David Thoreau writings. All in all a source of intellectual stimulation that is sure to last me through the summer.

I am most excited about One River by Wade Davis. A Harvard-trained ethnobotanist, Davis is an authority on Amazonian plants and psychotropic drugs. I didn't know where I had heard his name before, but after I had bought the book I realized that he was recommended by my fellow anthropology and environmental nut Hollis. A hero for "psychonauts" as their called, Davis seems to be a respected and accomplished scientist and scholar of indigenous plant use. Only having read the introduction and first few pages of the first chapter, I can see why his work has received so much acclaim. It's very easy to read and already very interesting. Coming of the heels of White Rock by Hugh Thompson and Heinrich Harrier's Seven Years in Tibet, my current interest lies in travel writing with a bit of anthropology or science involved if I'm lucky.

I only read the prologue of Davis' Shadows in the Sun but it's in the same genre as One River: a very personal account of indigenous cultures and how they still possess what most of us have lost in the torrent of modernization. I can see some dismissing Davis' work as perpetuating the demonizing of Western society and how indigenous cultures are somehow "better" than us. On the surface this may seem true but my impression of Davis so far is that he is able to relate in writing what many of us think of as exotic or pristine. I'm anxious to delve into both of these books, perhaps simultaneously, in order to gain a better understanding of the earth that we're all a part of but that only a few remaining cultures truly understand.

Lost World by Tom Koppel caught my attention because it is an argument for a maritime origin of the first Americans. The long-standing paradigm has the peopling of North America occurring via the Bering Land Bridge between Siberia and Alaska. Koppel, along with a still-growing community of archaeologists, are positing this maritime hypothesis. Citing the lack of archaeological sites due to increased sea levels since the last Ice Age, Koppel aims to lay out the theory. I am the audience he is addressing, as I was taught the traditional Land Bridge theory in my anthropology classes so I will approach this work with an open and eager mind. Damnit I love knowledge!

To me a book is much more than bound paper infused with ink. It's a key, a microscope, a window, and a mirror all at the same time. I look for books that will leave me with more questions than when I started. I gain knowledge with each page turned, but the true beauty of a good book is its ability to send my mind racing in a million directions at once, as if my brain were the victim of the old torturing method known as "quartering." A good book makes me look closer at the world around me. Things really aren't quite what they seem. A volume that challenges and expands my view of reality is what I crave. A window to a world that otherwise is invisible is a gift that I cannot dismiss as mere paper, ink, and glue. Through that window I see not only fascinating places and experiences but myself as well, staring back at me from the pages. A strange dynamic is in motion when I read a good book. I'm starting to see the genius behind the philosophy of the PBS show Reading Rainbow:
Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
A Reading Rainbow

I can go anywhere
Friends to know
And ways to grow
A Reading Rainbow

I can be anything
Take a look
It's in a book
A Reading Rainbow
A Reading Rainbow
Applicable today as it was then. Dismiss it as silly, but that song (and way of thinking) has taken on a new meaning for me. Thanks Levar.